It Hurts Too Much To Say
by bluemooneyez
Summary: When a threat comes between Sakura and Syaoran, will Syaoran resist to tell Sakura how he feels since it hurts too much to say.
1. Default Chapter

**Title: It Hurts Too Much To Say**

**Author: bluemooneyez**

**Summary: This is a little fan-fic with one of our favorite couples of CCS: Sakura and Syaoran. It is set when they are about fifteen. It seems that Sakura has gotten a new boyfriend. Syaoran is all alone, and wishes he could say what he feels. However, as the title says, It Hurts Too Much To Say. **

**A/N: Okay, this is my first fan-fic.  Please do not be too harshJ. Please read and review. Any flames, comments and editing accepted please. Thanks~!**

                                      **It Hurts Too Much To Say**

The rain came down softly against the rooftop. Each droplet fell with perfection creating a melody that could gently put anyone to sleep. Syaoran had been staring through his mind the sleepless night. Usually rainy nights helped him fall asleep, but tonight was a different story. Sakura just had that affect on him that no one other had. She was the only one what could make him smile, and laugh. Now, that was gone. She barely comes over to his apartment anymore and rarely spoke a full conversation. What could he do? 

Sakura now had a new boyfriend that moved here recently named Gomi-kun. Syaoran knew Gomi-kun was an enemy of his ever since he laid eyes on him. Gomi-kun knew that Syaoran really liked Sakura, and that is why he asked her out. Syaoran was sure of it. Gomi-kun wanted to be soccer captain, but naturally, Syaoran was given position as captain. Gomi-kun convinced himself that he was the most popular boy in school, he was not. Syaoran was one of the people that most girls had crushes on, and could get anyone as a girlfriend. He was mistaken. Since Gomi-kun asked out, it was all over for Syaoran. He was all alone. 

          Tomoyo-chan was no help; at least she tried to talk to Sakura about Gomi-kun. She tried to convince Sakura that he was not right for her. Sakura would not listen. She was convinced the she was in "love". Love? What does it stand for? She would never know true love until she knew what Syaoran felt for her. Syaoran knew what love felt because he was deeply in love with Sakura. The Cherry Blossom he cared for and wanted to tell how he felt. There was no way, not anymore. His only comfort was the teddy bear Sakura gave him when they were in elementary school. A lot has changed since then. Syaoran held the teddy bear; so much pain flushed his insides as he pictured Sakura sleep.

          Syaoran turned to his side and glanced at the clock. He sighed deeply and sat up. It was six o'clock already, even though it was still dark. Hesitantly he walked to the kitchen and made breakfast. As he sat down in his usual chair for breakfast, he just stared down at the food instead of eating it. At this point, it hurt too much to eat, he got it bad.

          The rain still fell as he walked to school. Only to consume more pain, he watched Sakura and Gomi-kun walking to school together sharing one umbrella. Gomi-kun had his arm around her waist and whispered something in her ear that made her giggle. Syaoran felt that someone just stabbed at his heart with the Sword Card.

**A/N: Wow, bad night and morning, poor Syaoran-kun. I hope you liked it. Sorry it is so short. I did not mean for it to be this short. The next chapter is going to be Sakura's point of view. I hope you all review. I am asking for 10 reviews asking for the next chapter. Thank you~!**

            
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Title: It Hurts Too Much To Say**

**Author: bluemooneyez**

**Summary: This is a little fan-fic with one of our favorite CCS couples: Sakura and Syaoran. It is set when they are about 15 or so. It seems that Sakura has a new boyfriend. Syaoran is all alone, and wishes he could say what he feels. However, as the title says, It Hurts Too Much to Say. **

**A/N: YAY! Thanks everyone for such great comments on my first fan-fic. I really appreciate it! Finally, I put up the next chapter after such debate with myself and some personal events…. It comes to this: THE NEXT CHAPTER! The chapter is bit longer which I put a lot into consideration. Sorry for the long wait, here it is!**

**It Hurts Too Much To Say**

**            It was one of the hardest things to watch as Syaoran walked to school alone behind Sakura and Gomi. Sakura looked back for one peek. **

"Syaoran", she whispered to herself.

Her emerald eyes dimmed as she watched the pain and torment in Syaoran's eyes. She could see that he was broken apart. She turned her head forward and quickened her pace. He thought to himself why am I doing this to myself? Feeling sorry that I lost the one girl for me? Ha, I should hide my mumbling miserable state. I should forget Sakura. As these thoughts crossed through his mind, he shuddered. It will be a struggle, but I need to. For myself, for Sakura's sake, I need to forget my feelings for her and move on. Syaoran took one more step in the cold brisk air and stepped in to the warm inviting school. With this new determination, Syaoran felt a new sense of refresh ness. Syaoran still felt unsure, but it was the right thing to do.

          "Konnichiwa Li-kun! I saw you enter school behind Sakura and Gomi" Tomoyo greeted

          "Yeah?"

          "Just yeah? Oh Li-kun, how can you be so passive?"

          "Its no big deal, I'm fine."

          "Are you sure, have you taken ill?"

          "No"

          "What's wrong?"

          "Nothing"

          "Be honest, you know, I know that you love Sakura, it must've been painful to walk behind those two."

          "Forget it, I…I…I don't love her!"

Tomoyo gasped at this sudden burst of anger.

          "You don't love Sakura? I know you must be angry right now, you are just letting your anger out"

          "I don't love SAKURA!" Syaoran did not particularly shout this out, but he needed for Tomoyo understand.

With this response, Syaoran turned his head towards the window and took a deep breath.

          "I see, I don't understand, but I see"

          "Finally"

          "Are you going to tell me why?"

          "All this time, I've endured pain, torment and depression, but for what? TO go through more despair whenever I see her? I cannot do that to myself; I cannot let myself get hurt anymore. I have decided to move on and forget my feelings for her; I need to forget the past that was a long time ago. I need to finally think of my own good. I may sound selfish, but I need this"

          "Li-kun you should rethink this"

          "No, I don't, it doesn't matter if you do or don't understand, but you have to let me go on with my life without her."

          "I want to understand for you, I do, but I still have hope for you and Sakura"

          "I respect that and I know you will do almost anything to see Sakura and me together. I have lost my patience with myself; I cannot go on like this.

          "Li-kun…."

The bell interrupted Tomoyo's thought. Even though she watched to continue the conversation, she made her way to her own seat.

          The day lagged on for what seems forever. Having the seat behind Sakura was torture. Even though he convinced Tomoyo he was not in love with her anymore, he could not convince himself. Her golden hair sparkled in the sunlight and her hair swayed as she moved slightly. Her hair smelled of strawberries just freshly picked. He knew at this rate, he could never forget her. His heart was tearing apart with every move she made, every breath she took, it made him cringe. With every muscle in his body, and the energy he had left, he tried so hard to concentrate on his schoolwork. It did not help to think of anything else though, even though he tried so hard to not to look up.

          Syaoran looked out the window. It seemed the rain was falling harder now. The sky was totally gray and getting darker. He could feel a presence. He knew this rain could not be natural. He could not tell whether it was good or evil. Were his powers failing him? What is wrong? So much is going on today, and its still morning.

          Finally, school ended. They were the most painfully long seven hours he had ever endured. His efforts of concentration failed him. As she stepped out of the school, a sharp cold wind whipped at his face piercing at his skin. It howled in hiss ears and hissed as the wind winded down. The rain drenched his jacket and left his hair dripping wet. What was that? He thought to himself as she stood outside in the middle of a brutal storm that seemed like it was gonna get worse. He didn't know what to do now, he had no way of attacking. He needed Sakura's help, but how? How could he face Sakura and work with her again. He wasn't sure if he still had the will power and energy to team up with her once again. Capturing the clow cards was years ago when they were around then. They could never go back to what they used to be, friends. Syaoran wasn't sure they were even still friends. Friends were ones that could come to each other for comfort, friends that they could always rely on, friends that could tell each other how they feel. As he walked home, he came with the painful conclusion was that, the could never be friends again.

          As Syaoran opened the door to his lonely, secluded apartment. He stood in the dark listening to the roar of thunder clashing against each other. The room lit as the lightning streak through the sky. Syaoran slowly made his way to the kitchen and gradually made dinner for himself. For the first time in days, he actually finished his dinner. He was reluctant to clean up, even though he liked everything neat. He looked out the window only to see the faint outline of a certain person alone. In less than a minute, he ran to catch up with her.

          "SAKURA!"

**A/N: To be continued… WOW! I finally finished the chapter. I am soo happy I actually got the energy to type and upload. I was planning to do it for a long time, but.. you know.. J Thanks for all the reviews! Please R and R. Flames, anything!**


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